Have you looked to see if your employer is offering any wellness programs at your job? This can be in the form of a lunch time yoga class, after-work fitness class or a seminar presented on stress reduction. Sometimes employers will have an in-service or even Saturday morning program.

Many companies now are learning the benefits of offering these on-site to reduce employee sick days, burn out and many other reasons why people miss work. This also makes people tend to not need a “mental health day” off from work to recover from stress.

If your employer isn’t offering any programs, you can show him some articles that outline the benfits. One motivation employers have is the reduced cost of health insurance which can really sky rocket. A second benefit is that employees that are less stressed have reductions in reacting to other co-workers with anger, resentment or other flare ups . This decreases enmity and leads to team work, cooperation and less office gossip.

Psychologically one reason why people dread work is due to the “water cooler” talk that can be at times petty. The less gossip a work environment has, the more comfortable everyone feels. This will create a relaxed ambience and one that will seem friendly.

As an employee, having a wellness class on -site also is a nice way to associate work with health and fun. When we are less stressed our presentations go better, we cooperate more with others and can feel more connected. Often at work there may be people you think of approaching but don’t. A wellness course can be a nice way to have a common ground for conversation and future interactions. People tend to dress casually and there isn’t the type of strain that may be present in an environment where people feel pressured by meeting deadines.

       
        

“Life With Woody”

10 Inspirational Quotes That Will Add Some Humor To Your Day

It might take a little coffee or probably a few rounds of beer or any other booze you could get your hands on when it comes to relaxing after a hard day’s work. Well, yeah I’m guilty about that one as well, unless I’m caught dead wearing a lampshade over my head after a few rounds of vodka… half-naked! Okay, bad example and I apologize to everyone reading this after getting nightmares about me in that state of drunken stupor.

Just don’t ask how it happened, please.

But what’s really interesting is that how do people go through the usual part of life when faced with vein-popping stress? I mean, the new age thing like Zen or yoga is one of the good things and it actually works. Is there room for the intellectual side of people who can actually smell the roses-in-a-can while on the move? It kind of had me thinking that there really must be something in this ‘mind-over-matter’ thing.

Humor is indeed the best medicine there is whenever you are. I mean anyone can pay good money to listen to a comedian just to make you wet your pants after laughing so hard. Despite of what’s been happening, and to those who has gone though the ordeal, it’s better to just laugh while facing the troubles with a clear mind than anger with a clouded vision. One of my favorite celebrities of all time may have to be Woody Allen. Now this is one guy who gives you the in-your-face bluntness that he pulls out with gusto, even without even trying. You can talk just about anything with a man, and he’s bound to mock the subject and you’ll end up laughing rather than being upset about it.

Woody Allen has this to say:

1. “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.” It sounds good to me, I mean the practicality of all things does involve money but it doesn’t have to take an arm and a leg to get it.

2. “I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.” ‘Nuff said.

3. “There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?” This happens to be one of the classic ones. I mean the issue about life’s little problems isn’t all that bad, until ‘he’ shows up.

Sure, relationships can get complicated, or does have its complications that probably any author about relationships is bound to discover it soon. We follow what our heart desires, unless you’re talking about the heart as in the heart that pump blood throughout your body.

4. “Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.” And if you want more, just keep on asking!

5. “A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.” It sounds, ‘practical’, I think.

And when it comes to everyday life, he really knows how to make the best out of every possible scenario, and it doesn’t involve a lawsuit if he strikes a nerve.

6. “Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.” I never had a boat in my bathtub before. Just staring at it while soaking in hot water makes me seasick already.

7. “I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” If it rains, it pours.

8. “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” It could get worse when you’re guzzling on beer… or mouthwash, and it happened to me once!

9. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” At least he doesn’t smite us with lightning, and I’m thankful for that.

And despite of what may happen to all of us in the next ten, twenty, or even thirty years, I guess we all have to see things in a different kind of light and not just perspective. I can’t seem to imagine life without any piece of wisdom that could guide us. Whether we’re religious or not, it takes more courage to accept your fears and learn how to deal with them is all that matters when it comes to even just getting along.

And to sum things up, here is the last nugget of wisdom to go by… however, whenever, and wherever we may be.

10. “The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.”

Best wishes for a great day!

       
        

Can stress shorten your life? There are studies that indicate that stress reduces our immune system strength. One recent news item has been how cortisol is increased when one is under stress. This can result in excess weight in the belly area. An interesting piece of research is that phosphatidylserine can help damaged cortisol receptors (which is the result of having a high cortisol amount). Some even take phosphadtidylserine to prevent senility and Alzheimers.

When you are stressed you often breathe shallowly. This means your chest and stomach muscles are tight and you won’t be taking in as much oxygen as when your body is relaxed. This effects energy, moods and sleep along with possible symptoms incuding stomach problems, backaches and high blood pressure.

One way that your body can relax is if you do a 5 minute meditation where you inhale through you nose and exhale with
a whistle. This helps you to have a deep exhalation . When you have a deep exhalation, you can inhale fully afterwards. We need to exhale fully in order to inhale completely.

In the book, “Secrets of Longevity: Hundreds of Ways to Live to be 100″ Dr. Ni, a Tai Chi Master, gives lots of tips. It is a worthwhile read . In an interview he said that we are influenced by our genes but probably the most important determinant of our length of time on this earth is the way we live. He mentions factors that include what we eat, how we play, how we relax, the amount of time we laugh and the way we end and begin each day.

One thing to keep in mind is that stress isn’t really easy to measure objectively. A person may be in a bad marriage and feel relieved if their partner wants a divorce. To say divorce HAS to cause stress isn’t exactly right . If the marriage was more stressful than the separation than it’s the opposite. It is the same when observing two kids on a roller coaster. One may be hilariously laughing and the other is white knuckled and very unhappy. Is it the roller coaster itself that causes the stress? 

We have different fears and stressors and one person can be very anxious around cats while another finds petting a cat their peaceful time. Look at how much you play and laugh each day and think of ways to increase this to extend your years and life quality.

       
        

Do you feel that you are always busy and trying to do too much?

Do you find when you are doing x that you think about y?

Are you ever present to the experience you are involved in ?

If you realize that you aren’t experiencig life the way you once did, this can be a warning sign to slow down so that your life won’t pass you by. 

Here’s some tips to take when you are trying to squeeze everything into a day or you are pre-occupied by thinking about what you forgot to do, need to do or shouldn’t have done!

1) Ask yourself if you are becoming too rigid. Do you find yourself being more and more serious, concerned with control
and laughing a lot less? When you are with friends and family are you making little lists in your head or racing off to use your cell phone or laptop?

2) Do you feel it’s been a while since you’ve been fully in any moment? Try this week to really embrace two activities you are involved in using your undivided attention. Give yourself permission to let your mind clear itself of other obligations for two set times this week and see what that is like for you.

3) Do you find that little things are becoming magnified larger than life? Is it another morning where your daughter didn’t take the food out of her room before school or feed the cat like she was supposed to? In the movie, “My life as a dog” the protagonist found comfort in remembering that there are others in worse circumstances than himself. This helped him to not blow up his current situation.

Try to see what the point of the busy buzz is that you create each day and if some of the items on the list can be eliminated rather than pursued. Let others multi-task while you stay focused and present.

       
        

Not everybody learns the same way, yet rarely is taken into account in any educational setting, be it learning in the classroom or training in the workplace. A major part of the reason why some people excel and some fall behind in the same learning enterprise is dependent on the teaching method used.

People learn 3 different ways: visually, audibly, or kinesthetically. And while each of us usually has the ability to absorb, process, interpret, and retain information through all three of the senses involved – sight, hearing, and touch – in each of us, one usually dominates over the others in absorbing, processing, interpreting, and retaining information. It is our particular brain’s “preferred” method of learning.

In plain English – some people learn best by reading about something, some learn best by hearing about something, and some by doing it.

When you’re a primarily Auditory Learner, a more sound-oriented person, being taught visually – i.e. with charts, graphs, and illustrates – won’t ever be nearly as effective as a clear and concise explanation verbally related. By the same token, if you’re a primarily Kinesthetic Learner, a more touch-and-feeling-oriented person, a lecture would probably serve little other good than to lull you to sleep, whereas you could learn any new skill given an interactive, on-hands workshop on the subject.

Since we aren’t ever taught to examine by which method we as individuals learn best, we go through with unnecessary limits on our abilities to realize our potential. By identifying the type of learner you are, you can shed the weights and shackles making every step harder than it needs to be, and finally let your personal development take off.

Visual: Nearly two-thirds of people process information primarily through their eyes. People who say, “I see what you mean,” are probably sight-dominant learners. Reading text and viewing visual images (including charts, diagrams, illustrations, graphics, and animations) are the visual person’s most effective methods of processing information.

Auditory: About one-third of people process information primarily through their ears. People who say, “I hear what you’re saying,” are probably hearing-dominant learners. Listening to speeches, talks, lectures, and audio recordings suit the auditory learner best.

Kinesthetic: The remaining 5% or so of people process information primarily through movement and touch: hands-on learners. Young children make up the majority of predominantly kinesthetic learners. As they age, they gravitate more towards one of the other two forms.

Now, don’t stop at identifying your primary learning method, because that would be limiting yourself just as adversely, only in the opposite direction. You are a whole being, with vision, hearing, and touch & mobility. To deprive yourself of input on any of those levels would be cheating yourself. So identify which of the senses would consider your second-most prominent?

Armed with this self-knowledge, you can now take any learning scenario and make whatever adjustments you need to be sure your two dominant sense are being included in the process. This may come in the form of buying audio recordings of the books you’re asked to read. It may come in the form of doing research for a paper at the museum instead of the library.

       
        

Sailing the 7 C’s: The Basic Human Needs

Human beings have very few needs. In fact, beyond survival (food, water, shelter), there are only 7 factors that human beings require in order to live a full and contented life. All people of all ages and backgrounds and from all cultures and walks of life bar-none need the same things to live a complete and fulfilling life.  Our wants are vast and varied, our needs the same. They are:

1. Connection and intimacy – loving and being loved, social interaction, a sense of belonging, being related with others;

2. Creativity and stimulation – that is, things that stimulate your emotions you’re your mind: interests, hobbies, passions, the desire to do things with our time and make things where there was nothing;

3. Care for the body/mind – our physical health and mental/emotional health are inextricable, care for the one, the other also benefits, ignore one, the other suffers too;

4. Contribution: a sense of meaning and purpose – we need to feel that we are here for a reason, if it that’s a self-determining reason, to experience giving of ourselves to a greater good;

5. Comfort:  a sense of being safe and secure – things that help us relax, feel calm, able to rest, sleep adequately, experience peace;

6. Control:  a sense of control over one’s life – of having some measure of influence over our inner and outer worlds, a sense of “personal power”;

7. Conviction: belief in a “higher power” with genuinely benevolent intentions – the flip side of Control, this is the faith that sustains us through the hard times, the willingness and ability to surrender to the source of life and submit to the belief and trust that something greater than us is looking out for us, that we will be “okay”, that things always “work out in the end, that everything happens for a reason.

A lack or deficiency in any one area can cause the entire person to feel out of whack. Too often we concentrate on the handful of needs from this selection that we’ve proven to ourselves we’re best at achieving (i.e. ‘Status’ for a career-driven person; ‘Intimacy and Connection’ for a family man or woman), at the expense of the others.

There’s often a misconception that we have a limited amount of energy to use for our happiness and fulfillment, that like money, once we spend it all and use it up, it’s gone. Not so with life. Your career is not going to dissipate if you put attention on also having a family, or vice-versa: not if you don’t let it.

Exploring your connection to something greater than ourselves will not diminish your hard-earned sense of control over your life; nor will taking action and exerting some influence in your life diminish your faith in a higher power.

To find out where the source of upset in your life lies, copy the above list onto a sheet of paper with enough space in between each category for you to list those elements, aspects and qualities of your life that fall under each category. Do you have at least one item listed under each category? Are there any categories with a large number of items beneath them; any with none at all?

Look at those areas on the list that you feel you’ve cultivated well in your life; and praise yourself for it. Then look at those areas where you feel there’s room for greater attention and fulfillment. Give it some of your attention, and receive its fulfillment. Life is a balancing act; we balance our needs while pursuing our wants. The more of our fundamental needs that are met, the easier and faster it is to get all that we want.

       
        

Genuine Happiness Comes from Within

Life isn’t the sweetest candy. Sometimes, when I feel like the world is just too heavy, I look around and find people who continued to live fascinating and wonderful lives. And then thoughts come popping into my mind like bubbles from nowhere – “How did their life become so adorably sweet? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite a busy stressful life?”  Then I pause and observed for awhile… I figured out that maybe, they start to work on a place called ‘self’.

So, how does one become genuinely happy? Step 1 is to love yourself.

My theology professor once said that “loving means accepting.”  To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie a great ounce of courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve your repertoire to recover from our mistakes.

Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the question “how to be genuinely happy.”

When we discover a small start somewhere from within, that small start will eventually lead to something else, and to something else. But if you keep questioning life lit it has never done you any good, you will never be able to find genuine happiness.

I believe that life is about finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, wining and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure, in a person’s life has become as abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy.

How to be genuinely happy in spite all these? I tell you… every time you exert effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, fail on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.

Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in the NFLs. Every time you take a step forward, you make scoring points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot.”, instead of looking at it all blank and murmur “Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try out. We could have won!” and then walk away.

Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest 13th month pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life doesn’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or not even the best. So, how do you become genuinely happy?  Every one has his own definition of ‘happiness’. Happiness for a writer may mean launching as much best selling books as possible. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean success. So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. You don’t have to have the best things in this world. Its about doing and making the best out of every single thing. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling your self “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, you carry with you a flame of strong will power to persevere that may spread out like a brush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try – that will make you a genuinely happy person.

When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project “how to become genuinely happy”.For as long as you know how to accept others, you will also be accepted. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love ten folds back.

Again, throw me that same question “how to become genuinely happy?”. I’ll refer you to a friend of mine who strongly quoted- “Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life’s aches and pain. But most of us don’t know that the best kind of laughter is laughter over self. Coz then you don’t just become happy… you become free.”

       
        

What is Stress? How does it work? And what are signs and consequences of Stress?

A 1960’s Tufts University experiment revealed that all people respond to a sudden and unexpected stressor (as in being ‘startled’) with the same collection of symptoms: holding their breath, muscles tightening and contracting (neck, shoulders, and back especially).

The image is of the body armoring itself, and aptly so, as the natural inclination in such a situation would be to protect oneself, wouldn’t it? We react with a defensive posture in all senses of the word, readying to defend ourselves from the perceived threat.

When our brain perceives stress (identifies a stressor) it kicks our sympathetic nervous system into high gear. This the notorious ‘Fight or Flight’ response. When this is triggered, the body mobilizes all its resources for action.

Automatically, involuntarily, and more often than not, completely without our awareness, our individual reactions to stress derive from the same set of symptoms: shortness of breath, body stiffens, palms sweaty, heartbeat racing.

It’s not without its purpose. This state of alert that results from a crisis moment also puts us in a state of heightened awareness, from which we can respond from an instinctual level. Immersed in moments of emergency, our confused and conflicted minds defer to our instincts which always has our survival as its prime imperative.

When our survival is not at stake, however (which is most of the time), this state is very literally overkill. As with any state or condition, repeated often enough, the stress-response becomes our regular “default” state of being; in the language of science and medicine, this is called ‘habituation’.

We habituate the stress-response. Worse, we self-identify with it, believing that it is us: easy to do with such pronounced physical manifestations of it: headaches, back pain, panic attacks, insomnia, depression, angry outbursts. Constant stress, as that caused by chronic worry, self-doubt, shame, guilt, and anxiety, keeps us locked in that involuntary stress-response state ongoingly.

Many people respond to stress through distraction and denial, covering up their stress and numbing themselves to its effects with a litany of equally-stressful behaviors, for example: overeating, oversleeping, alcohol and drugs, temper tantrums, violent outbursts, self-denial, self-abnegation, self-mutilation.

Other common symptoms of the stress-response?
• dilated pupils
• dry mouth (blocked saliva production)
• dilates bronchial passages
• impedes digestion – causes diarrhea and constipation
• stimulates the production of bile
• releases adrenaline
• stimulates the bladder and decreases bladder control
• chest pain
• heart pounding
• hot flashes
• nausea, vomiting,
• disorientation - dizziness, lightheadness, and blurry vision or “tunnel” vision, fainting
• blood diverts away from the heart, brain, and other organs, and towards the muscles and extremities

Over time, this can have a drastic negative impact on one’s overall health and well-being.  Stress unattended can adversely affect memory, mood, rational judgment and decision-making abilities, self-control,  and overall mental and emotional functioning. Stress can lead to problems in all areas of life: money and career, home and family, relationships.

The key to our salvation from all these potential fates is to recognize our stress, first and foremost – acknowledge and accept. Then take responsibility for finding and implementing ways to relieve it.

       
        

Lack of activities can prevent you from living healthy. When you do not enjoy activities, you may feel fatigue or find it difficult to sleep at night. When you awake in the morning, you may feel tired until you finally fall asleep. As we, age our body change and we have to make changes to accommodate our lives.

Having a good night sleep makes the mind think more clearly. A good night sleep also boosts your energy while controlling your weight. You can also make decisions with less stress. Sleeping well at night makes our immune system stronger to keep us healthier.  Researchers have proved that a good nights sleep is necessary for our health.  Researchers have found that lack of sleep reduces the growth hormones in our bodies, since it changes muscles to fat. Sleep overall is most important, yet it stands behind activities. To improve your health, try walking each day.

Walking will help to loosen our muscles, reduces stress and depression along with anxiety. By reliving these things, it will help us to sleep for a longer and deeper period.  So, when we wake up in the morning we feel happier and more rested.

When you exercise, you get a good night sleep, which promotes metabolism. Without the right amount of sleep, our bodies crave energy. Our body will release insulin or glucose into the bloodstream, which slows down metabolism. This action causes the body to gain weight, rather than control weight. 

When a person feels exhausted, they will feel weak and repressed from enjoying activities. This leads to additional problems. Sleeping right balances out our bodies giving us, more energy leading to more activities that will satisfy our sleep needs.

What to avoid:
To rest proper and feel active you must reduce your intake of caffeine, nicotine, harmful chemicals, such as over-the-counter meds that keep you awake, alcohol and so on. The chemicals and substances will keep you awake. Try to avoid drinking anything after 8 p.m. in the evening. Nicotine should be avoid if possible, yet if you must smoke try to avoid smoking after 8 p.m.

Start a walking program in the morning to help wake you up, while boosting your energy. You will feel better since the joints will feel flexible enough to move freely. In addition, walking will help you burn fat and calories. You’ll notice a big change in how you feel the rest of the day.  Start out walking at a slow steady pace for as far as your comfortable.  Each day pick up the pace a bit and walk further. Just remember when walking that you want to work up to a steady brisk walk to make you sweat but not out of breath. Take a short walk before and after meals to calm your nerves, and burn calories too, it will give you energy, relieve that stress from the long day and help you sleep.

If you start a walking program for yourself, it is a lot more fun if you have someone to go with you. Talk to that neighbor you don’t know and maybe they’ll walk with you. Just think about it; you’ll be acquainted with someone new, talk about new things will relieve stress and get in you exercise as well. This might help that neighbor too who maybe hasn’t seen or talked to anyone in a couple of days and than they can sleep better at night.

After walking that brisk walk your doing be sure to cool down. When walking at a vigorous pace your heart rate will go up and it needs to be back to normal. Just walk a bit slow and relaxing until you’ve cooled down.

If you can’t go to sleep at night instead of getting up and turning on the TV try pacing around the house. Do some stretching and shake your arms and legs. Even walking around the house can relax you especially when everyone else is in bed and you can relax more.

       
        

Assertiveness Training: Overcoming Shyness

Despite popular misconception, assertiveness and aggressiveness are not the same thing. Assertive people don’t dominate conversations or hog attention; aggressive people do. Assertive people are not rude, mean, cruel, and insensitive; aggressive people are. Aggressive people project a callous disrespect and disregard for everything and everyone – including (and especially) themselves. Assertive people merely project their own humble awareness of their inherent worth; and everyone is worthwhile – even you.

Respect for other people, empathy for their feelings, and recognition of their worth are all underpinnings of an assertive personality.

Resentment, frustration, impatience, and anger all cloud what could be a purely assertive  into an aggressive act. Whenever possible, waiting to speak or act until you can do it from a place of calm respect free of resentment, frustration, impatience, and anger will transform the situation into one where everybody wins.

By the same token, however, simply waiting out your negative feelings without taking incisive measures to relieve yourself of them, can lead to a build-up of negative emotions. This dangerous phenomenon is familiar to many of us as the “pressure-cooker” syndrome when unexpelled negative emotions build up to the point where we “blow our top”, usually in the wrong place at the wrong time and directed at the wrong people, in any case doing more harm than good.

Being genuinely assertive without aggression requires being responsible for your thoughts and feelings. There are many ways to do this, but however you do it, it must be done. Being responsible for our thoughts and feelings does not mean blaming and unloading on others. It means owning up to the thoughts and feelings we have and acting responsibly in accordance with them. 

In the case of the ‘pressure cooker’ phenomenon, it is our resentment and frustration with ourselves for putting up with an unpleasant and intolerable scenario without affecting any change in it that leads to our inappropriate outbursts. It’s ourselves we’re mad at; not the other person. So don’t take it out on them. Deal with the one responsible: yourself. Then and only then can you deal responsibly with anything and anyone outside yourself.

But if the antithesis of assertiveness is aggressiveness, then what is shyness? Shyness is a fear-response; a prolonged ‘Flight’ response. Actually, in the innate, unconscious ‘Fight-Flight’ stress-response, Aggression is the ‘Fight’ and shyness is the ‘Flight’. The way out of this involuntary, unconscious, reactive state is through voluntary, conscious, responsiveness or response-ability: humble and self-assured Assertiveness.

Learn to give constructive feedback in a timely manner, establish boundaries and set limits then honor them, and develop the ability to express your feelings respectfully and proactively, and you’ll no longer lose control to inappropriate emotional outbursts. These are the qualities of being truly assertive.

Shyness is a self-defeating pattern, for as you shirk from social interaction, you project yourself as socially awkward, creating a perception in others that validates your reasons for feeling shy, thereby keeping you locked into that unwanted frame of reference.

Assertiveness without aggressiveness leads to hirings, promotions, improved relationships, and new opportunities galore. An assertive manner of being improves your quality and enjoyment of life.